Renewal

March – Renewal

As we stand on the cusp of spring, our theme is renewal, for ourselves and for our relationships. Thoughts of renewal draw me to the plum flower, a delicate blossom that blooms in the final days of winter. When temperatures are still chilly, its delicate petals add a burst of pink into the sleepy landscape – which is why Chinese culture looks to the plum flower as a symbol for resilience and perseverance.

I invite my mama clients to reflect on the wisdom of the plum blossom, as it announces the arrival of spring against all odds. Its blooms are a reminder that we are about to enter a transition, which may bring up mixed feelings. On the one hand, it might be thrilling to store our heavy coats in the back of the closet; on the other hand, we might not feel ready to put away our cozy comforts to re-engage with the world.

It’s normal to have mixed emotions at a transitional time: We let go of part of ourselves so another part can be reborn. Use this time to reflect on what you would like to leave behind this season. What is no longer serving you? What new thing can you make space for?

Resource:

The Calm App has a meditation focused on renewal (subscribers only). Youtube.com also has free renewal meditations to explore. Try a few to find one that connects with you.

Exercise:

Breath is the life force that connects inside and out, allowing us to steady our presence and open ourselves to everything around us. Make this transition into spring a time to explore your breath. When you breathe in through your nose, inhale life. When you breathe out through your mouth, exhale all that you no longer want to carry. In with the new, out with the old.

Tip: I recommend building your breathwork habit when you have five minutes to dedicate solely to breathing. Once you get comfortable, however, you can engage in a session anytime, anyplace – on your commute, in meetings, while cuddling before bedtime. As you calm your body, your little one will feel the relaxation – and may even instinctively join in.

For Couples

As its buds emerge when other flowers wouldn’t dare, the plum flower is celebrated in Chinese culture as a symbol of resilience: Something beautiful can be born even when the environment doesn’t match our conventional ideas of perfection. Celebrate the arrival of spring in the spirit of the plum flower by identifying what you want to “put away” symbolically: old resentments, past hurt, attachment injuries. With that freed energy, you can focus on what you want to experience relationally in the here-and-now. As you do so, remember to honor whatever you happen to be feeling. Toxic positivity buries wounds beneath the surface. To bloom, allow yourself to use positive forces (such as gratitude and mindfulness) that uncover the things you want to emphasize.

Resource:

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, a book by Dr. Sue Johnson, a pioneer of Emotionally Focused Couples and Family Therapy (EFT)

Exercise:

Try renewing your relationship through appreciation, as recommended by this science-backed article from the New York Times. Commit to spending five minutes a day appreciating your partner, from the tiny details to the foundational qualities that made you fall in love. Choose a time when you’re not likely to be distracted. Hold hands, stare into each other’s eyes, and mindfully focus on each other. Take this opportunity to practice your breathwork and feel the energy flow through you, energizing your relationship.