Managing Anxiety amidst Global Unrest
Spring is here. A time we associate with relief from the chill of winter. A time to look forward to carefree days and brighter evenings. This year the hopes of spring are even more heavily invested with the anticipation of a return to a more ‘normal’ life, after a two-year disruption.
And yet, as excited as we might be about our favorite springtime fruits appearing on store shelves, and as grateful as we might feel to watch the buds on our favorite tree promise to open – ‘carefree’ is not the way most of us are feeling right now, which makes sense.
It feels like every corner of the world is on edge.
Humans are natural problem-solvers. Our brains are programmed to find meaning in everything, so we can decide if it poses a threat. When we can’t figure out what’s going on or how to fix it, the instinctive response is to feel anxious. We turn towards catastrophic thinking and game out ‘what-if’ scenarios: What if the store runs out of food? What if a tornado hits my house? What if World War III breaks out?
It makes sense to assess the safety of our environment. We can appreciate that our brain is working to try to keep us safe. However, when our anxiety takes control of the narrative, we get pulled into a vicious circle where we become less logical and less able to protect ourselves.
The best way to come back to the present is to practice mindfulness meditation. Don’t worry - this isn’t about sitting peacefully in a room for an hour. I’ve selected a simple, concrete exercise that can be used in any stressful moment and as a daily practice. By engaging your senses, you take yourself out of the fight-or-flight instinctive mode and bring yourself into the present where there are no what-ifs, just what is.
Exercise: A Mindful Meditative Exercise
Find a quiet spot in your home or outdoors, and take several deep breaths as you feel your feet connecting with the floor. Let your shoulders drop away from your ears as you fill your belly with fresh air. Now ask yourself these questions:
What are four things I see?
What are three sounds I hear?
What are two things I feel? (i.e. sensations, such as the wind on your face, your clothes on your skin, etc.)
What is one thing I smell?
Whatever comes into your mind is perfectly fine. There are no wrong answers. As you focus on engaging your senses and connecting with the environment, you’ll become more mindfully grounded in the here-and-now.
When anxiety is ever-present, it can help to approach it from multiple fronts.
Channel anxiety into something positive: It may not be in your power to resolve the situation in Ukraine, but you can donate to organizations supporting the cause. (Remember, that as a mom, the act of raising compassionate children is an act of service to the world – what you’re doing is already enough.)
Release some of the anxiety through intense body movement: High-intensity exercise (break a sweat!) is a proven mood-booster. Invite some friends and have a backyard dance party. Music is a fabulous ingredient because it allows us to connect with our inner self and silence those nagging worries.
Art is another great source of relief: Pick up a pen and doodle (while listening to your favorite playlist), and you’ll shift your brain out of anxiety-mode and into the present.
Don’t think of these activities as more things to add to your “should” list. Think of them as tools in your kit to come out when you need them. If your kids are old enough to dance or hold a crayon, you can get them involved, too.
For couples:
When the world is on edge, it can feel like we’re crashing into our partner like the balls on a pool table. Each partner needs time and space to process the events of the day, but at the same time, a couple needs to come together and understand how to support one another.
This month, I suggest we go back to the basics and make sure we are listening to our partner, before trying to take any sort of action at all. Simply providing one another a steady presence is a powerful way to strengthen a dynamic, allowing it to be the source of support we need to get us through turbulent times.
Exercise: Empathetic listening
If your partner is coming to you, they are scared, vulnerable, or looking for support. Now is not the time to use intellect to agree or disagree. It’s natural to want to roll up our sleeves and do something for those we love, but that’s not always our job. Instead of trying to solve their problem or judging their experience by second-guessing what they did, try really listening to your partner, and then empathize with their feelings.
If you struggle with this, take some deep breaths as your partner speaks, and focus on what they are saying. Take notes if this will help you focus on what they are telling you. Ask, if you need them to slow down or clarify, and then follow up with thoughtful questions to better understand their internal psychological world!